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Friday, August 20th, 2004
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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
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| Time: | 9:21 am. |
| Mood: |  scared. | | Music: | matchbook romance. |
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i think i said id update again on hawaii but it was just so awesome i dont think i could explain. it was definietly one of the best times in my life and i will never forget it. i really want to move there for a few years. i miss it a lot. and i miss lisabeth. she won't be home until the 26th :-/.
ive been in a weird mood lately. i think this whole college thing is really hitting me. i dont want anyone to leave. i dont want that to be me and my close friends next year. the other night matt metzger left to go to adelphi and play soccer. i know its not far and he said i could visit him anytime but something about him leaving really upset me. i havent been as close to him as i used to but hes been the most amazing person to me. i know that if anything were to ever happen to me or if i ever needed someone to just talk to hed be the first one at my house. i cant thank him enough for always being there and never giving up on me. i wish him the best of luck and hope he does well with everything.. which i know he will because hes one of the most determined people i have ever met. matthew i love you so much.
im really excited about being a senior. im in love with my grade. this year will be amazing. im also really excited about soccer season eventhough its going to be so ridiculously different without all those girls. they really made last year so much fun.
i think my case of jet lag is starting to improve. ive forced myself to wake up before two these past couple of days. my sleep pattern really sucks.
this week im coaching at a soccer camp with kailee ashley krisi and jay. yesterday was our first day and it was pretty good. the girls are adorable, they look up to us so much and its the best feeling. im also glad im getting to hang out with those girls because i miss them and i cant wait for all of to get so close this fall.
after camp last night kai krisi and i went to brit's house to say goodbye :-/. it was weird seeing someone youve grown up with and shared sooo many memories with ready to go to college. today is christina's last day. shes going up to oneonta for soccer. again, shes someone ive shared so many memories with and i cant wait to go up and visit her. christina i look up to you so much you've always been a role model to me. pbnclkfafd- no one figured out the fafd <3.
jessy leaves to play for the college of new jersey today also, i wish her the best of luck. her + meghan will be greatly missed on this years varsity team <3. ah i love them all so much.
last night i got home from soccer around 945 and jackie came over. we were too lazy and in a weird mood to do anything. we went out in our pajamas to starbucks to get a quick drink and rent a movie. alex[ercrombie] called and he met us and then we ran into greg there so they both came back to watch say anything. we couldnt find the movie anywhere so jackie went up to one of the guys at the counter to ask and as she was doing this this extremely punked out guy must of heard us looking for it. he went to run and give it to jackie and tripped over the rug and fell flat on his face looked at jackie in all seriously and said "i almost died." handed her the movie and walked out. i dont think ive ever seen her laugh so hard. greg for that matter either.
say anything is one of the best movies i have ever seen. it by far had the best ending ever and i wanted to cry in happiness. it was just so cute. i hope everyone can have something like that. jackie woke up this morning singing "in your eyes" <3
its finally sunny out and im so excited. i havent seen the sun since hawaii. today my day will be spent reading and floating in my pool until soccer.
..oh i got to see my loves louie and little matt carella the other night. which was awesome because i missed them so much. those boys always know how to make me smile (:
.. i miss a few certain a-kids.
.. i also miss a certain boy i used to be close with. his middle name is charles.
:-/
oh my this is long.
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Friday, August 13th, 2004
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| Time: | 9:34 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | saves the day. |
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oh my goodness. hawaii was absolutely amazing. and i want to go back right now.
surfing, cheesecake, beautiful boys.
what more could you want.
you want shrimp.. ill give you shrimp.
ill update some more later. and maybe put some pictures up.
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| Time: | 8:49 pm. |
| Mood: |  ecstatic. | | Music: | hellogoodbye. |
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eh i dont really have much time to update.
but this week has been fun.
met awesome guys at werk and have been hanging out with them a lot :).
they are so cool. i wish they lived in smithtown. <3
went to a lifeguard party. which was very interesting. all i can say is that i love jacquelyn gloria rapp way too much.
hawaii tomorrow- so excited. (:
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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
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| Time: | 12:51 am. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | tbs. |
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im bored now. so i think ill actually update.
i cant really remember what ive been doing lately, its all been a blur. but its been fun.
yesterday lisa and i fell asleep by my pool all day and then went to watch some softball. i got to see christina- shes home from hawaii and shes all tan and gorgggeous :). i love her so much. i think its really starting to hit me how different things are going to be without her and jen. i look up to them so much. <3
anyway after a little bit of softball lisa and i met her mom and went shopping for hawaii :) which is in less than a week and im so incredibly excited. we went out for pizza with her mom and then met audra at starbucks later that night. i got to see steeeve :) i was so happy. i miss that kid so much. his apartment looks great and im really proud of him.
we were supposed to go to drews house but we something else came up. *dies laughing*
the rest of the night was very very funny and i enjoyed it a lot.
audra + lisa came back to my house and we watched dazed and confused and passed out.
this morning we decided to do something crafty. so we set out for michaels. we went a little.. a lot too far and ended up at selden thrift. so we went in there and on the way home finally found michaels. aud you are an idiot but i love you. we were going to make these bags but just decided to get hemp and beads instead.
we went back to lees and went in the pool for a little eventhough it was kind of cold out. eh :)
when i got home i slept until like 8:30. i was so tired. tonight i went to wills house for a little while which was cool because i got to see a bunch of people.
im writing a lot.
steph is in south carolina i miss her.
the other night ecdt hung out + cara and we slept over mikes house. haha good times.
we are getting a new bath tub installed currently and i like it a lot. thats weird.
i miss jackie a lot. i havent hung out with her in about two weeks.
i also love and miss kim palacino. i need to hang out with her.
hm i adore this one kid just because he always finds a way to make me smile. even if it is just by him smiling. hes been doing that since i was in ninth grade. thats dorky. his name is matt.
oh boy. im starting to get tired. i dont want everyone to go to college. sdklsd.
i love my job. and managers [eric+kenny]. and my co-workers. and awesome people that visit me.
everyone smile.
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| Time: | 10:00 pm. |
| Mood: | chipper. | | Music: | cake- sheep go to heaven. |
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i looove this summer so much.
hawaii with lbc in fourteen days.
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Auto response from WAKE530: goodnight. happy birthday kristin!
Auto response from barrage 48: i should probably be packed by now.. oh well, im too pumped. 8-) happy birthday kristin. <3 love you sis.
Auto response from lilhunny 21: sleeping. happy 17th birthday kristin mary <3
Auto response from UponSomerset: sucksssss. first, I graduate high school. Next, I have work all day tommorow. Finally, I smell bad.
Happy Birthday Kristin and Jeffie:-)
Auto response from soccasweetie6: happy birthday kristin!
ar423: happy birthday
JoHnNyKnOxViL425: happy bday to u!!
JoHnNyKnOxViL425: damn skippy ur 17
SHoRTAstOOp23: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-D:-D:-D
xmorningxxviewx: happy birthday beautiful :-)
Maverick Theory: happy birthday wonderful
BarragE 4: kristinnn, happppppybirthdayyyyyyy...smileeee:-)
Auto response from BarragE 4: happybirthdayykristin:-)
dullxstars:
Dear hot stuff,
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Sarah.
teerscamefalling: happy birthday, i love you, pretend i am giving you a birthday kiss.... hehe:-*
Auto response from teerscamefalling: sleeping.....
Happy birthday kristin and jeff........
Auto response from nobodiesfavorite: [Track 02: Reminice]
Its My Birthday. No Body Loves me. [say that in kristin fineomenas eyeore voice] thenwhat06 (10:33:03 AM): i dont want any cake. no presents for me. ::.very.bery.bery.sad.eyeore.::
Auto response from xWasted wordsx: .....and still theres nothing you can do, though it feels broken in two, you have four chambers from the start: auricle, ventricle, broken heart...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFIE AND KRISTIN :-)
Hoopzstar23: happy birthdayyyyyyyy
tssdrum: happy birthday mom
xShatterdPiecesx: well HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
sweet misery ox: iloveyousomuchindofacehaveaveryhappybirthdayandsmileanddanceandfuckingivefoodtothepilgrims! <3
DisJointd Heart: happy birthday!
DisJointd Heart: i love you
Soccahunny19: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GURLL!!!! I LOVE U!!!! :-D :-D :-D
DREAMR002: happy birthday
Sa Bre Sru l9: happy bday!
xxneenslabxx:
dear wally.
this is kristin on justines screen name and i needed to say happy birthday. i hope you have a WONDERFUL DAY!!! i miss you so much. and i keep seeing sad profiles and away messages and i wish i could help you. so if you need anything please please please don't hesitate to ask. becuase i love you and i will always help you out if you need it. and we really need to hang out soon. because i love you. :-) <3 and i hope to talk to you soon.
i love you
love wally
teerscamefalling: so how does it feel to be a really hot girl that just turned 17 :-)
and everyone else that has bombarded me with nice happy birthday wishes :). thank you guys so much. this might be the first birthday i enjoy. and it really hasnt started yet.
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last night i saw dodgeball. best movie ever.
went to moses today with jacq lis lou drew kevin and stacy. it was a lot of fun i must say. the water was freezing. and of course we got thrown in a million times. there were a million cajillion people from smithtown there.
i dont know. i had a good time and everything there was just still so much on my mind. i cant stand watching people cuddle. there was the most adorable couple sitting behind us at the beach just laying together and it was so cute. and it made me think of him. and how cute we are. and boo. i miss us. we're perfect together.
anyway my birthday is in a week. i dont know how i feel about that. mixed emotions. i like being sixteen. seventeen sounds too old. and i dont know what im even doing on that day. every year my birthday sucks. im hoping this year it changes.. everyone keeps asking me what i want.. and i really dont want anything. the only thing that i could ever think to ask for is just something from someone that shows that they truly care about me. i dont know if that makes sense. im an idiot.
there is something about me that needs to change. i dont know what it is. but im starting a diet the beginning of next week. maybe this will help my terrible insecurity. lets hope.
anyway im going out tonight with very good people so this should be nice and keep me smiling.
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| Time: | 11:30 am. |
| Mood: | hopeful. | | Music: | atal. |
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i never update.
thursday night barrage had a soccer game at whitman park. we played northport. and smoked them 3-0. it was lovely. i dont think we've ever played that well.. it was very awesome to see.
friday during the day a bunch of us went to short beach til around fourish. hulk and i made up :). then we had a soccer game in commack against elwood for first place and at half time we were winning 3-1 (most beautiful three shots i have ever seen in my entire life) and lets just say the refs were huge losers and left because there was lightning. wed understand if it was a huge thunderstorm, but the rain/thunder/lightning passed over in 15 minutes and blue skies came. so now we have to play the game all over. and it sucks. and we got in like 109534 fights with the other team. or at least audra and i did. i told a 5'9 extremely buff dyke that she was a man. so ill probably get crushed when we have to play them again.
that night a bunch of us went to kailees house. i had so much fun. actually i cant remember the last time i had that much fun. nicole did the chicken for us :). i loved the people that were there. ahhh :). THATS ALL. <3
audra slept over that night and we got to talk a lot. which is good because we understand eachother sooo well.
the next morning we picked up lee and headed to robert moses. and it turned out to be a gorgeous day. i got a little sunburnt though. it was a very very good first ocean beach trip of the season :).
after we went back to lees and jacq came over. we went into lisas bathroom and we all cut our hair? i dont know. we are weird. but it was fun. and we were all in such a good mood. :)
later on we met up with steph at starbucks and hung out with a bunch of people there including the orange vest boys. the girls and i.. and ross bernard brian dan kelly and greg all went down to longbeach to hang out by little africa until we got kicked out. it was really fun and random but i liked it. and of course the night ended with jackie dancing in the back of stephs truck to ghetto music.
so saturday was overall good until someone told me something late last night. but im trying not to get upset over it, im just going to let it go. or try to :-/
oh and i miss eric a lot. thats another thing im trying not to get upset over. i havent seen him in two weeks :-/ which sucks because hes my best friend. i just really hope everything works out. yeah i have a bad feeling but oh well i cant do anything about it. it just sucks that i have to sit here and wait. its really not fair i miss him so much :( eh i want him to be happy. i need to stop thinking about it.
today is my hot twins birthday. happy birthday kristin :). i miss you.
im going to my grandmas soon for a bit. im excited. i love my grandma. and my dad. fathers day <3.
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Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
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| Time: | 4:54 pm. |
| Mood: |  excited. | | Music: | coheed. |
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i have the most amazing friends in the universe.
i completely forget about every stupid little stress i have in my 16 ..almost 17 year old life. i hate being upset. im young. and i should be having fun. i love to laugh. and smile. oh friends<3
goodness.
i love them.
today was lovely.
and for some reason i really want to watch stepmom
my face is burnt.
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Thursday, June 10th, 2004
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| Time: | 8:08 pm. |
| Mood: |  nostalgic. | | Music: | the used. |
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wow.
im going to be a senior.
im extremely nostalgic. and wow.
i miss being a sophmore. what a fucking awesome year.
i think we will always be known as sophmores. even when we are in college. everyone will still call us the "sophmores" and we will still always call the kids that are now in college the "seniors."
so yeah. ill forever be a sophmore slut.
damnit. i love tenth grade.
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| Time: | 12:32 am. |
| Mood: | feeling quite better. |
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my best friends are amazing.
Auto response from soccasweetie6: tonight = the reason why i love my best friends. :-D
lilhunny 21: what a fucking crazy night
babiesofeighties: burning rubber + dancing in a pickup truck= begining of summer
Auto response from apple jax 001: GIVE ME SOME LOVE, STRIP OFF YOUR CLOTHES, AND TAKE OFF YOUR SOCKS!
out video taping a dance? ;-)
this night made my horrible week seem so much better. thank you girls so much for making me feel better. i really am blessed to have these four by my side.
audra.jackie.lisa.stephanie <3
greg is also one of my favorite people. eventhough we lost the race, floored the brakes skidded right through the stop sign onto jericho onto the wrong side of the road to oncoming traffic swirved out of the way and then blew a red light it was awesome. and i cant believe im alive. but it was so fun.
i effing loved the group of people we were with tonight.
this got my mind off of sooo much.
edit:
SHoRTAstOOp23: hemee
SHoRTAstOOp23: heme heme heme
SHoRTAstOOp23: :-D
heeemeeee. iloveaudra+greg
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| Time: | 6:05 pm. |
| Mood: | broken heart ?. |
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teerscamefalling: you know he is probably one of the luckiest guys i know to have a girlfriend as sweet as you...
i love this boy. thanks for being there for me. <3
and my god i adore my boyfriend. and hope he feels better. he has the lovelist smile..
i wish i was pretty or unique or anything.
why do i ramble.
i want to just lay down and watch a movie with eric. :(
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| Time: | 12:59 pm. |
| Mood: |  nauseated. |
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well. didnt think this week could get any worse. but it did. loooovely.
i havent slept in two days. i havent eaten in two days. i feel like throwing up.
sats this morning. thumbs down.
eric bedell you are the most amazing drummer ever.
dallas vs. denver = awesome.
i dont feel like writing
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| Time: | 8:51 pm. |
| Mood: |  crappy. | | Music: | no more music for my head ;(. |
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so this is the worst week of my life. by far.
i was in the hospital. ive never been so drained from physical pain before. and i had to get four shots in my butt :(. eeeer. i just dont want to be sick anymore. worst feeling.
i went to school today for the first time in a week and was bombarded with tests and quizes. i had teachers. its the last fucking week of school. i thought maybe my migranes would be getting better but this just added to my stress.
i also love getting my hopes up because the one person who i want to see tells me they are coming over and then doesnt. and really doesn't even make an attempt to call me. or see how im doing. or care for that matter. maybe im overreacting. i just thought hed make more of an attempt to comfort me? whaaaatever. if he doesnt have time for me then he doesnt. i know hes busy. and im probably just acting like this because im upset. baaaah. </3
on a lighter note. although i feel like shit ive gotten a lot of stuff accomplished tonight. ive studied 95 pages of history, completed all homework for that class, studied for my eighty million chemistry quizes to make up, finished my drivers ed notebook, and did my gym homework (ridiculous). the only thing i have left to do is study for a math test? death?
Auto response from thenwhat06: put your frustrations into four letter words.
lilhunny 21: fuck
lilhunny 21: shit
lilhunny 21: cunt
lilhunny 21: this is hard duc
lilhunny 21: crap
lilhunny 21: darn
lilhunny 21: damn
lilhunny 21: ouch
lilhunny 21: roar
i love this girl so much. she really is such an awesome friend to me. she knows all the right times to call when shes knows im not okay even when i say that i am. <3 thanks aud.
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Msmithowitz: i just had the worst dinner
thenwhat06: me too!
Msmithowitz: i had noodles with sloppy joes on it
Msmithowitz: blahahhahhahahahaahahahaahahahaha
thenwhat06: i had potroast with DUMPLINGS! >:o
Msmithowitz: yea well im gonna dumpling all over your face
thenwhat06: yeah well fine. i like poop
Msmithowitz: freak
thenwhat06: yeeeah what are ya gonna do.. cunt
Msmithowitz: pretend your a shed and light you on fire
thenwhat06: haha i hate you
Msmithowitz: i know me too
thenwhat06: eat me you stupid donkey lover
Msmithowitz: fine and then ill just throw up my sloppy joes and noodles and dead babies i ate earlier all over the place
thenwhat06: haha were the babies at least black?
Msmithowitz: oh always
thenwhat06: oh alright so thats okay
Msmithowitz: alright im out
Msmithowitz: like your clothes
Msmithowitz: oooooooo
i missed this kid. <3 its nice to have another brother around again (:
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so this weekend was awesome. jr prom was not so hot though. but whatever. friday and sunday were so very lovely <3.
i havent really slept much lately so that sucks. i also have a shitload of work that i have to get done before the end of the year. the chem regents will eat me. i hate lord of the rings so much. tomorrow i have counties for bmint and im feeling sort of confident. hehe im nervous. i have to make up drivers ed tomorrow and thursday. booo. friday will be sweet. leaving for conneticut for a soccer tourny with barrage (: should be fantastically nice.
realizations:
1. william boyd mcclain is a genius for inventing in school tag for these last few weeks.
2. miller place sucks so hard and so do people who are narrow minded
3. i think that chinese restaraunt made my anthrax worse
4. thursday is going to be an extremely emotion night
5.*eric bedell is the most incredible person i have ever met
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| Time: | 7:54 pm. |
| Mood: | sore. | | Music: | jimmy eat world. |
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i really should update this more often.
i have horrible allergies and they are killing me slowly. damn anthrax.
friday was my brothers birthday. he had a lot of gangsters in the house<3.
that night eric jeff sarah and dave came and picked me up (: i love them.
we went to alex's house with lots of people and i must say it was a great night.
the best part was probably when eric jon amanda and i went to ralphs italian ices and some girl came running out of it screaming to eric
random girl: "oh my godddd are you in a band?!! ohhh my god!!"
eric: "uhh .. yeah i am"
random girl: "oooh my goddd!! I KNOW YOU!! aaaah"
.. walks inside.
comes back out 2 minutes later..
random girl: "oh my god you guys are really really good!! oh my godddd!!!!"
it was actually hysterical. erics so cute. everyone knows him. and his band is awesome. (:
i had soccer prac on saturday and then audra lisa christian and i went out for some lunch.
wooo. new dresser in my room.!! :) so excited. i attempted to organize stuff and get it all together.
i had a family bbq and then i headed over to lisas and hung out there until she got home and we went to the rapp house for michelles surprise 16th birthday. fun time. lee and i started a water pong game and it was a hit. i hope meesh had a lovely night. she deserves it.
around 11 we left and stopped by starbucks and hung out with andrea and kim for a bit. it was nice to see some kids home from college.
today i had a soccer game. riiiidiculous. i love my team more than anything. fuck oceanside <3. francis and mac came to watch :) glad they are home (: <3
i just finished my english essay. and i should be studying. but im not. i miss eric. hes visiting kristin at new paltz. i hope he is having a fun time though :)
i think im going to go lay down while my anthrax eats me alive.
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i hardly ever update this thing. i just never have time. or if i do have time i guess i just forget i have it. i just wanted to update because jen is hot and i miss her.
things have been alright i suppose. could be better but what are ya gonna do. im doing pretty damn well in school i hope or at least i think. ive been winning all my bmint matches- including beating miller place in three and then smoking matt when we played whitman. okay not really smoked ;) but whatever.
today really didnt feel like a friday at all until after school. it was so bootiful out. instead of being a committed player i skipped practice and went to callahans beach with jw ben jenna rosenman danielle jordan martucci dan and chris audus to play frisbee. i must say it was a very lovely time. i found the most awesomest shell in the entire world. its gorgeous<3. dan and jordan almost died multiple times, and martucci and hartard got ripped apart. it was awesome. :). we got called frisbee stoners. haha. anyway these people really make me laugh. and smile. and i like it a lot. <3. :)
tonight i got to go to this cute little eagle thing for eric. hes adorable. and i got to hang out with courtney there which was awesome because shes a lot of fun to talk too. that ended about 1015 and we drove around thinking of something to do. we ended up just getting donughts and chilling at his house. it was a good time. he dressed up in a sombrero and played the guiitar. and i got to see meghan<3<3. love her.:).
john came over and him and eric tried to beat me with pillows. hrrrmph ;). anyway. tonight was fun. :)
ive realized in the past few days that i dont care about prom shit anymore, well i dont think i ever really did.. but whatever, i love lisa, i miss jacq and hanging out with her everyday. i also really really miss kristin jen sarah and jessie. i love those huntington girls. i adore my boyfriend and every cute thing about him.
im sleeepy.
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nineteenfifties's journal
crazy.
worried.
rushed.